I feel too much – I feel it all

I feel too much.
There.
I fucking admitted it.
Happy now?

You’ve only been telling me so, life, in the voices of different people all these years.
“Don’t take it so hard.”
“Get ahold of yourself.”
“You’re being over emotional.”
Can’t help it.
I’m wired this way.

Tell me about your day.
I’ll see it in an instant.
Feel it just as hard.

If I seem cold,
it’s because I have a motherfucking award winning poker face.
To let you know you get to me
is never allowed.

But trust me-

I feel it all.
Can’t turn it off.
These days I don’t want to.

So there.
I feel too much.

In a world so coldly calculating,
I’m a foolish heart beating that’s well attuned to everyone around me.

I can read your body language like a lover.
I can feel tension that cuts not only the air but me until I’m pretty shreds of ribbons.

I feel it all.
And dammit I’m not changing.

Maybe I was born in the wrong century.
Or maybe this world needs a conduit because right now it can’t afford to cry for itself so I will.

If I hold your hand, you damn well know I understand.
But I don’t need to touch you to see your soul.
Your eyes tell me everything I need to know.

So please forgive me if I don’t always meet your eye.
It’s a heavy burden to bear.
I do it willingly, mind you.
I love you the same as I am in love with the whole world.

Forgive me if I seem cold.
There’s only so much of me to go around.
Then again,
I’m closer than you can possibly know.

Words just can’t explain the fact I feel it all.

© 2014 Nette Ford: @ClubNette All Rights Reserved

drones

restless
listless
test less these days

wake
eat
work
sleep
pray for play

take your tray and line up
today’s special
is the mystery meatloaf surprise

try not to die of excitement
it’s worth all the hype tripe
chewy but satisfying
for a vulture culture
that’s forgotten how to hunt

what do you live for?
love on hand to mouth
not much to spare
this care we can’t share
to bear the fairer days
have no room to groom
our crocodile tears with

trust the trysts
at least lust is honest
without much pretence
semblance the silence
tower twined catalysts
falling
words grow quiet
words fail me

drones never have much to say
just that drowning buzz
to let you know they’re coming
then the bombs go off

© 2014 Nette Ford: @ClubNette All Rights Reserved

the keyboard masquerade

we’ve always been dazzled by the bright lights.
and now they’re always on.
maybe that’s why we love the darkness of the clubs so much.

music as our universal language
throbbing
calms us
as we dance

we are immortal
we cannot worry
in the chorded velvet strains
in the sensory embrace

and if you hold me now
stranger that you are
we will have a kind of forever

we’ve always been one for a good time.
only now our keyboards are the invitation to the masquerade.

fettered to the flawless porcelain
we shine so bright
in the burn out
coals glow
the shoals of home
beckon

and we all say amen
with diamond studded tongues
uddered full of inspiration
spills over

quicksilver burns
if you can catch it
it’s more about the chase
tails or otherwise
the sweet demise
the thrills sweet clover

come dance with me
turn your left brain off
forget who you have to be
and come be who you are

© 2014 Nette Ford: @ClubNette All Rights Reserved

you and I

There is a great peace within me now that I have met you.
You exist in the world.
You are really out there.

Did you know I have always been looking for you?

Every great love that any person has ever had for another resides within me for you.
A great strength that will never bend let alone break.

The old ways have found me and led me to you.
I love you deeply, unconditionally.

I have loved you throughout all your years and pain, your sorrows, your struggles, your disappointments.

Didn’t you feel me there?
That soft flutter and the gentle peace that comes from falling apart and getting back up.
That was you and I holding on.
Resonance growing.
Drawing us towards each other.

There’s nowhere you can go that I won’t be there for you.
Never alone.
Bound soul to soul, you and I.

I know of your darkness.
I have embraced it in the longest nights.
I have caressed your loneliness.
I have kissed you in all those times you’ve given up.

I carry all your scars within my soul.
I have been the whisperer of your heart. The ghost that’s been calling of home.

Fear nothing, my love, for I’ll never give you up.

I’ve never left you.
I am part of you.
Always have been.
Always will be.

© 2014 Nette Ford: @ClubNette All Rights Reserved

give us a show

step in front of the microphone
stitch to it
the threads of your soul
project yourself
give up the ghosts

drape the audience
in the stars of your eyes
in the tears you have cried
give it your all

we want to hear you
we want a show

take us away
along the cords of your heart
along the places you’ve been
along the pain for your art

help us fit your pieces
back together again
stronger than the eggshells
in your garden

we will clap for you
if you just
give us your all

step onto the stage
don’t be afraid
the worlds waiting
with baited breath
give us a show
(give up the ghosts)

© 2014 Nette Ford: @ClubNette All Rights Reserved

love you with abandon

leave your hesitations at the door tonight lover
you won’t need them anymore
I want cherish you
see that you’re adored
naked and vulnerable
my favourite kind of torrid

let me run my hands all over
let me worship you as you should be

give up your identity
you’re safe with me
I will love you all the nights to come
for all eternity
no matter what you think you might have done
you’re my only one
I’ll love you with abandon

come fall apart in my hands
as we discover our souls
melt away into Neverland
pulse wracking
earth shattering
no time mattering
fuck the pandering
show me what you want

let me show you all the ways
I’ll love you with abandon

© 2014 Nette Ford: @ClubNette All Rights Reserved

miles angry

I am miles angry and molasses tired.

I am a bloated up elephant filled with hot air tied into a pretty gingham dress with burlap twine.

I am a boiling coast of fired up outrage.

I am caught up the maelstrom sinking to the deep end where self-control can’t hold its breath long enough to save me.

I am a paper bag princess fuel up on rock star and too much lemonade made from the comprising tide rising fast.
Sweep me away.

I am the ego screaming of self-identity.

I am the observer set apart from all of this and watching the whole show with a bowl of popcorn and a lifetime subscription.

I am the tombstone of a permanent furrowed brow.

I am the silent mirth who finds humour in the agitation.

I am a thousand children freely laughing at the adult set into skin.

I am an eon worth of topplin dictatorships all rebelled against.

I am a diamond imprint.
I am Teflon.
I am Kevlar.
I am a rusty suit of armour I stole from the last white knight.
I am human sometimes too.

© 2014 Nette Ford: @ClubNette All Rights Reserved

the dream of the rolling road

I’ll dream of the rolling road, my love.
Hold me tight tonight.
I’ll be gone when morning comes.
I can’t help it.
It’s in my blood.

A need in flooding veins.
To go all the places I’ve never been.

Honey, there’s still so much world to see.
I’d love it if you’d come with me.

But I think I see the horizon in your eyes.
And it’s cool if you stay home.
I just don’t know if I’ll be back this way.
If ever again.

Sweetheart, it’s been fun.
But there’s a few mile markers with my name on them.
And I’ve got to get rolling on.

I’ve got the road in my blood.
Asphalt in my skin.
Adventure in my heart.
And I’ve got to be going on.

Tears in my beers for you darling.
I swear it.
I just can’t stay.
Wasn’t made that way.

Maybe we will have another momentary forever someday.
Fortunes sometimes stray.
Settling is just too safe.

I don’t have a weak heart.
I can be alone in the dark.
Though it was nice to feel your pulse.
Hammer for me.

Lust is a luxury in which I indulge.
And love is just something I can’t afford.
Costs too much of me I’m afraid.

It’s getting late.
I can’t stay.
And I’ve got to be going on.

I’ll dream of the rolling road, my love.
Hold me tight tonight.
I’ll be gone when morning comes.
I can’t help it.
It’s in my blood.
I’ve got to be rolling on.

© 2014 Nette Ford: @ClubNette All Rights Reserved

the moment we became

there are shadows
under your eyes
from the past lives
all the ways the world
has hurt you

I wasn’t there
for any of those scars
but I know how
you carry the pain

because I’ve loved you
long before I met you
I loved you the moment
we became

recognized us
in the tone of your voice
in the way we fit together
in the softness of your eyes

I’ve always known you
been searching for you
all my life
I’ve loved you
long before I met you
I loved you the moment
we became

© 2014 Nette Ford: @ClubNette All Rights Reserved

blur

this is a blur
brains a whir

click
boom
I’m dead
I’m done

I’ve been reborn

I can’t remember
where I’ve come from

what I’ve done
doesn’t matter a damn

it’s all the past
it doesn’t matter

all I am is
here
right now
before you
astounded

that I have found you
after so long

© 2014 Nette Ford: @ClubNette All Rights Reserved