I feel too much – I feel it all

I feel too much.
There.
I fucking admitted it.
Happy now?

You’ve only been telling me so, life, in the voices of different people all these years.
“Don’t take it so hard.”
“Get ahold of yourself.”
“You’re being over emotional.”
Can’t help it.
I’m wired this way.

Tell me about your day.
I’ll see it in an instant.
Feel it just as hard.

If I seem cold,
it’s because I have a motherfucking award winning poker face.
To let you know you get to me
is never allowed.

But trust me-

I feel it all.
Can’t turn it off.
These days I don’t want to.

So there.
I feel too much.

In a world so coldly calculating,
I’m a foolish heart beating that’s well attuned to everyone around me.

I can read your body language like a lover.
I can feel tension that cuts not only the air but me until I’m pretty shreds of ribbons.

I feel it all.
And dammit I’m not changing.

Maybe I was born in the wrong century.
Or maybe this world needs a conduit because right now it can’t afford to cry for itself so I will.

If I hold your hand, you damn well know I understand.
But I don’t need to touch you to see your soul.
Your eyes tell me everything I need to know.

So please forgive me if I don’t always meet your eye.
It’s a heavy burden to bear.
I do it willingly, mind you.
I love you the same as I am in love with the whole world.

Forgive me if I seem cold.
There’s only so much of me to go around.
Then again,
I’m closer than you can possibly know.

Words just can’t explain the fact I feel it all.

© 2014 Nette Ford: @ClubNette All Rights Reserved